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Today's quotes [9.12.09]

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The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the
   second day you're off it.
         Jackie Gleason


1. 




I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.
   They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
         Rita Rudner


2. 




"The right to be heard does not automatically
include the right to be taken seriously." 

    - Hubert Humphrey 

3. 




A woman's charm is her strength,
A man's strength is his charm.

                     -- Anon -- 

4. 




"Oh yeah? My ENTIRE FAMILY was killed by gangsters... or maybe they moved
 to Tucson... and now I crave VENGEANCE."
"HA! My entire family AND MY DOG were crushed during a civil war re-
 enactment... and now I'm ITCHING to dispense justice indiscriminately!!"
"I just like to KILL people."
                        -- Various generic vigilante superheroes, "The Tick"


5. 



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