Today's poems [9.9.09]

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There was a young girl of Machias
Whose bloomers were cut on the bias,
With an opening behind
To let out the wind,
And to let the boys in once or twias.

               There was a young man from Nantucket 
               Took a pig in a thicket to fuck it. 
                    Said the pig, "Oh, I'm queer, 
                    Get away from my rear. . . 
               Come around to the front and I'll suck it." 

Said a pretty young lady from Croft,
Whilst amusing herself in the loft,
"Salami or wurst
Is what I choose first,
But with baloney I know I've been boffed" 

                    There was a young man named Cattell
                            
                    Who knew psychophysics so well,
                            That each time he shit
                            He'd stop, measure it---
                            
                    It's length, and it's breadth, and it's smell.
                            

There was an old fellow named Rapp 
            Who had a job all considered a snap. 
                In the insane asylum 
                He'd grade cunts and file 'em, 
            And bi-weekly he'd rub up their nap

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