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Today's poems [9.24.09]

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There was once a sad Maitre d'hotel 
            Who said, "They can all go to hell! 
                What they do to my wife--- 
                Why it ruins my life; 
            And the worst is, they all do it well." 


The life of a clerk of the session 
               Was strangled in psychic repression. 
                    But his maladies ceased 
                    When his penis uncreased 
               In straight geometric progression. 


There was a young girl named Prentice
Who had an affair with her dentist.
He used anathesia
Which made things quite easier
And diddled her non compos mentis. 


"Eat meat, whale meat, Give yourself a treat

(Shiney crappy meaty creatures)

Pull that baby off your teat, fill it`s face with whale meat

(Smiley Jappy people nourished)

Here come the whaleing fleet. Meet. Great. Yummy treat.

(Shiney crappy meaty creatures)"


               I sat next to the Duchess at tea. 
               It was just as I feared it would be: 
                    Her rumblings abdominal 
                    Were simply phenomenal, 
               And everyone thought it was me. 


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