Today's poems [9.12.09]

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There was a young fellow named Bliss
Whose sex life was strangely amiss,
    For even with Venus
    His recalcitrant penis
Would never do better than t
                           h
                           i
                           s
                           .

When she wanted a new way to futter 
               He greased her behind with butter; 
                    Then, with a sock, 
                    In went his jock, 
               And they carried her home on a shutter. 

Part 2 of 2:
   
                    Then when she had wiped off her bung
                            
                    Of the clinkers that thereunto clung,
                            She would singe off the hair
                            That had sprouted down there,
                            
                    And would lick her twat clean with her tongue.
                            
                                              

When the Bermondsey bricklayers struck, 
               Bill Bloggins was 'aving a fuck. 
                    By uni-on rules, 
                    He 'ad to down tools--- 
               Now wasn't that bloddy 'ard luck! 

There was an old gent from Kentuck 
            Who boasted a filigreed schmuck, 
                But he put it away 
                For fear that one day 
            He might put it in and get stuck. 

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