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Today's poems [9.1.09]

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There was a young man of Tyburnia 
               Who was fucking a girl with a hernia. 
                    When he shot in her twat 
                    Why, she also shot--- 
               All over him! Wouldn't that burn ya? 


There was an old maid in Van Nuys 
               Who went crazy from making mud pies. 
                    She would fill them with farts 
                    And pickled beef-hearts, 
               And bake them between her fierce thighs. 


Part 3 of 12
                    This sparkling young farter from Sparta,
                    His fart for no money would barter.
                            He could roar from his rear
                            Any scene from Shakespeare,
                    Or Gilbert and Sullivan's Mikado.


There was a young lady named Mabel
Who said, "I don't thing I'm able;
But I'm willing to try.
So where shall I lie -
On the bed, on the floor or the table ?"


Here lies the bones of Screwy Dick,
He spent his whole life with a corkscrew prick,
He searched and he searched in the feudal hunt,
To find the woman with the corkscrew cunt.
He finally found her and then dropped dead,
The son-of-a-bitch had a left hand thread.

Sent by Todd


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