Today's jokes [9.28.09]
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How do you change a blonde's mind?
Buy her another beer.
Two Irishmen were digging a ditch directly across from a brothel.
Suddenly, they saw a rabbi walk up to the front door, glance around
and duck inside. "Ah, will you look at that?" One ditch digger said.
"What's our world comin' to when men of th' cloth are visitin' such
A short time later, a Protestant minister walked up to the door and
quietly slipped inside. "Do you believe that?" The workman exclaimed.
"Why, 'tis no wonder th' young people today are so confused, what with
the example clergymen set for them."
After an hour went by, the men watched as a Catholic priest quickly
entered the whore house. "Ah, what a pity," the digger said, leaning
on his shovel. "One of th' poor lasses must be ill."
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes
one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the
Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins
to stroke her thigh.
As he does this he says to the woman, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
"Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatolegical
"That's right," says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts.
"Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asks.
"Yes," says the woman, "you're checking for any lumps of breast
"That's right," replies the doctor. He then begins to have sexual
intercourse with the woman. He says to her, "Do you know what I'm
"Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes."
A few years ago some members of the infamous Dartmouth Outing Club pushed
an occupied one-seat outhouse off its foundations, onto its door. The
victim tried in vain for a few minutes to roll the entire building onto a
different side, but soon gave up, as it was too heavy. She then was forced
to climb out through the seat, and over the pit near the bottom (now side)
of the outhouse.
The followup to this episode was that some `friends' seized me in the
middle of the night and tied my feet in a noose suspended in a tree. But
that's another story.
"Look at me." an elderly Yuppie boasted to his guests at his
birthday bash. "I've aged like a fine old carefully stored wine."
"I certainly have to agree with that." piped-up his obviously long
suffering wife. "Henry's cork's been stationary for years."
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