Today's jokes [9.27.09]
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A Canadian, a Scotsman, and an Australian are in a bar discussing the
mental abilities of
their wives. The Canadian says, "You know my wife must be the most
stupid woman in
the world. She went to a supermarket sale and bought $900 worth of
meat, and we don't
even have a freezer! The Scotsman says, "That's nothing! My wife went
out last week
and bought a brand new $30,000 car, and she can't even drive! Not to
be out done, the
Aussie says, "My wife is a lot dumber than that! Last week she left
for a two week holiday
in Paris and I saw her pack 20 condoms! Hell, she doesn't even have a
Did you hear that in New York State, the Stop And Shop grocery chain
merged with the A & P?
Yup..now they call it the...Stop & P.
An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the
night after the wedding, he held up three fingers. "Oh honey", said the
young nymph, "Does that mean we're going to do it three times?" "No", said
the old man, "It means you can take your pick."
There was this little boy who went in the whore house with a
dead frog on a leash. He went to the counter and asked the
pimp for a whore with aids, the man knew he was young but the
boy said "please mister, just give me a whore with aids, i
have money thats no problem" the man was like ok "if you have
the money". So the boy went in and fucked the whore and came
out smiling to the man at the counter. The guy didn't understnad
why he was so happy. "its a long story" the boy said. "tell me,
i can wait" hte man said impaciently. "ok" the boy says "i have
aids now right? well--i'll go home and screw the babysitter...
she'll get aids, then my dad will come homw and screw her...
he'll get aids, my dad will screw my mom...she'll get aids.
Then my mom will then screw the milk man
.....and he's the son of a bitch that ran over my frog!"
sent by Alaine
God creates Adam, and soon Adam is complaining that he's all alone in
the Garden of Eden.
So God says, "Okay, I'll make you a companion, a beautiful creature
who'll cook and clean for you. It will be able to converse
intelligently on any subject, and never ever complain or argue."
Adam says, "That sounds great."
God says, "The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg."
Adam says, "Damn, that's expensive. What can I get for a rib?"
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