Today's jokes [9.27.09]

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   A Canadian, a Scotsman, and an Australian are in a bar discussing the
   mental abilities of
   their wives. The Canadian says, "You know my wife must be the most
   stupid woman in
   the world. She went to a supermarket sale and bought $900 worth of
   meat, and we don't
   even have a freezer! The Scotsman says, "That's nothing! My wife went
   out last week
   and bought a brand new $30,000 car, and she can't even drive! Not to
   be out done, the
   Aussie says, "My wife is a lot dumber than that! Last week she left
   for a two week holiday
   in Paris and I saw her pack 20 condoms! Hell, she doesn't even have a
   penis!"
   

Did you hear that in New York State, the Stop And Shop grocery chain 
merged with the A & P?
Yup..now they call it the...Stop & P. 

An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the 
night after the wedding, he held up three fingers. "Oh honey", said the 
young nymph, "Does that mean we're going to do it three times?" "No", said 
the old man, "It means you can take your pick." 

There was this little boy who went in the whore house with a
dead frog on a leash. He went to the counter and asked the
pimp for a whore with aids, the man knew he was young but the
boy said "please mister, just give me a whore with aids, i
have money thats no problem" the man was like ok "if you have
the money". So the boy went in and fucked the whore and came
out smiling to the man at the counter. The guy didn't understnad
why he was so happy. "its a long story" the boy said. "tell me,
i can wait" hte man said impaciently. "ok" the boy says "i have
aids now right? well--i'll go home and screw the babysitter...
she'll get aids, then my dad will come  homw and screw her...
he'll get aids, my dad will screw my  mom...she'll get aids.
Then my mom will then screw the milk man

.....and he's the son of a bitch that ran over my frog!"

sent by Alaine

   God creates Adam, and soon Adam is complaining that he's all alone in
   the Garden of Eden.
   
   So God says, "Okay, I'll make you a companion, a beautiful creature
   who'll cook and clean for you. It will be able to converse
   intelligently on any subject, and never ever complain or argue."
   
   Adam says, "That sounds great."
   
   God says, "The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg."
   
   Adam says, "Damn, that's expensive. What can I get for a rib?"
   

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