Today's jokes [9.24.09]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.

John and Mary visit their pastor for marriage counseling. The pastor gets 
up and hugs Mary, and sits down.  He gets up and hugs Mary a second, and 
third time, and then turns to John and says, "See that, John.  Mary needs 
that EVERY DAY!"
John replies, "Well, that's fine, Pastor.  But I can't bring her over here
except on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick? 

    Fucks funny! 

What does an elephant use as a vibrator? 

     An epilectic. 

Do you know why there aren't any ice cubes in Poland?

The inventor died and took the recipe with him.

Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe
the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and
'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   September '09 Jokes Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30