Today's jokes [9.23.09]
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The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone
rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When
he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good
news. "Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!"
The politician's smiled faded. "Aw hell, ma, why bring that up at a time
How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the
world does it take to do the dishes?
-Both of them.
Three guys are in a Cessna. The first drops a penny out the window. The
second drops a pencil and the third a bomb. When the plane lands, the
first guy goes to see where the penny landed. He sees a guy swearing and
trying to get a penny out of his forehead. The second sees a girl holding
her dog who has a pencil through his head. The third guy sees a guy
laughing his head off. He asks, "Why are you laughing?" The guy says, "I
was cooking on my BBQ when I farted..." "What's so funny about that?" "It
blew my neighbor's house apart!"
A man walks into a jewellers shop, unzips his trousers and places
his tool upon the counter. The lady serving says: "I'm sorry Sir,
this is a clock shop not a cock shop."
"Well, put two hands and a face on this." replies the man.
One blonde to another...
Have you ever read Shakespeare?
No. Who wrote it?
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