Today's jokes [9.22.09]

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Why does the new Polish Navy have glass bottomed boats?

So they can see the old Polish Navy! 

What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? 

Beat it! We're closed...

Tom : I found twenty cents on the sidewalk.
Jim : That's mine. I dropped a twenty-cent coin there this morning.
Tom : But, what I found was two ten-cent coins!
Jim : That's it. I heard it break when it hit the ground.

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he got there,
he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said
Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long
line, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell. So the
executive asked the guard, "What do they do to you in Socialist Hell?"
"They boil you in oil, whip you, and then put you on the rack," the
guard replied.
"And what do they do to you in Capitalist Hell?"
"The same exact thing," the guard answered.
"Then why is everybody in line for Socialist Hell?"
"Because in Socialist Hell, they're always out of oil, whips, and racks!" 

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