Today's jokes [9.20.09]

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A guy is sitting at a bar and orders a drink. At the same time the TV go's 
on and there is Bill Clinton about to give a speech. The man yells, 
"There's a horses ass"
A guy gets up and punches him.. And the man left.. Then when Hilary 
Clinton came on he said the same, "There's a horses ASS..."
He then got punched again.. So he says to the bartender, "What is this, a 
Clinton country?" The bartender says "no, Horse country"

What does a woman of 40 have between her breasts that a woman of 20
doesn't?

A belly-button!

What is the difference between a Certificate of Deposit and Intercourse?



A Certificate of Deposit has significant penalty for early withdrawl.

Sent by Josh

A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary
for her recently deceased husband is published. After the editor
informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she
pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read 'Fred Brown
died'." 

Confounded at the woman's thrift, the editor stammers that there is a
7-word minimum for all obituaries. The woman pauses again, counts on
her fingers and replies, "In that case, 'Fred Brown died: 1983 Pick-up
for sale'."

What's a man's idea of foreplay? 

     -A half-hour of begging. 

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