Today's jokes [9.1.09]

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When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts",
and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Why don't Jewish mothers drink?

Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

Two Tourists

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching 
Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's 
name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they 
stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. "Before we 
order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please 
pronounce where we are... very slowly?
The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, 
Kiiiing."

A Chinese man had three daughters; he asked his eldest daughter what kind 
of man she would like to marry.
"I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest", said the 
eldest daughter. 
He then asked his second daughter whom she would like to marry. 
"I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest", said the 
second daughter. 
He finally asked his youngest daughter whom she would like to marry. 
"I would like to marry a man with one draggin' on the ground", said the 
youngest daughter.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two.
One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with
brightly colored machine tools.

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