Today's stories [8.23.09]
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While waiting for the final voter recount in Florida, media services
questioned the two major presidential candidates today. Both agreed that
Americans are seeing too much inappropriate material in popular
entertainment. However, they disagreed on the details.
The Republican candidate, George W. Bush, stated that there is too much
bloody violence in the movies and on television.
Vice President Al Gore, his Democratic opponent, stated that the media
presents Americans with too much sex and frontal nudity.
In other words, Bush says there is too much gore and Gore says there is
too much bush.
[AP, Arkansas] A woman named Linda went to
Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws, and while
there, went to a store. She parked next to a car
with a woman sitting in it, her eyes closed and
hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When
Linda came out a while later, she again saw the
woman, her hands still behind her head but with
her eyes open. The woman looked very strange, so
Linda tapped on the window and said "Are you
okay?" The woman answered "I've been shot in the
head, and I am holding my brains in." Linda didn't
know what to do; so she ran into the store where
store officials called the paramedics. They had to
break into the car because the door was locked.
When they got in, they found that the woman had
bread dough on the back of her head and in her
hands. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded,
apparently from the heat in the car, making a loud
explosion like that of a gunshot, and hit her in
the head. When she reached back to find what it
was, she felt the dough and thought it was her
brains. She passed out from fright at first, then
attempted to hold her brains in!
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
(Wonder which head?)
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