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Today's stories [8.20.09]

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Near the Delaware Memorial Bridge tollbooth: 

    "Information Police" 


A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho 
Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we 
have become to the alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of 
everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a 
petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the 
chemical "dihydrogen monoxide." 

And for plenty of good reasons, since it can: 

1. cause excessive sweating and vomiting 
2. it is a major component in acid rain 
3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state 
4. accidental inhalation can kill you 
5. it contributes to erosion 
6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes 
7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients 

He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical dihydrogen 
monoxide. Forty-three said yes, six were undecided, and only one knew
that the chemical was...water. 

The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible Are We?" The 
conclusion is obvious.


Super Granny - Defender Of Justice

An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car,
she found four males in the act of leaving with her car! She
dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun,preceded to scream
at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to
use it! Get out of the car, you scumbags!"
The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and
ran like mad, where upon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to
load her shopping bags in the back of the car and went back and
got into the driver's seat.
She was so shaken up that she couldn't get her key into the
ignition. She tried and tried and then it dawned on her why!
A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five
spaces further down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove
to the police station.
The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in
two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter,
where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad
elderly woman described as white, less than 5 feet tall, glasses,
and curly white hair carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed.


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