Today's poems [8.28.09]

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               A team playing baseball in Dallas 
               Called the umpire a shit out of malice. 
                    While this worthy had fits 
                    The team made eight hits 
               And a girl in the bleachers named Alice. 

There was a young lady of Totten
Whose tastes grew perverted and rotten.
She cared not for steaks,
Or for pastry or cakes,
But lived upon penis *au gratin*.

There was a young lady of Joppa
            Who came a society cropper. 
                She went to Ostend 
                With a gentlemen friend--- 
            The rest of the story's improper. 

There's a lot has been said 'bout the breast--- 
               Like how nicely they feel when they're pressed. 
                    But when push comes to shove, 
                    In this business of love, 
               Its "twats" 'tween the legs that is best. 

A young fellow discovered through Freud 
               That although of a penis devoid, 
                    He could practice coitus 
                    By eating a fetus, 
               And his parents were quite overjoyed. 

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