Today's poems [8.28.09]
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A team playing baseball in Dallas
Called the umpire a shit out of malice.
While this worthy had fits
The team made eight hits
And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.
There was a young lady of Totten
Whose tastes grew perverted and rotten.
She cared not for steaks,
Or for pastry or cakes,
But lived upon penis *au gratin*.
There was a young lady of Joppa
Who came a society cropper.
She went to Ostend
With a gentlemen friend---
The rest of the story's improper.
There's a lot has been said 'bout the breast---
Like how nicely they feel when they're pressed.
But when push comes to shove,
In this business of love,
Its "twats" 'tween the legs that is best.
A young fellow discovered through Freud
That although of a penis devoid,
He could practice coitus
By eating a fetus,
And his parents were quite overjoyed.
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