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Today's poems [8.23.09]

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There was a young lassie named Phyllis 
               Was deflowered one night in a Willys. 
                    Before they were through 
                    Her spine was askew, 
               And I very much fear that it still is. 


There once was an apple-cheeked runt 
            Who was welcomed with joy at the Front. 
                This God's gift to he-men 
                Prevented spilled semen, 
            For his ass was tattooed like a cunt. 


Once a pirate named Yates 
            Danced the jig for all of his mates. 
                He slipped in his cutlas, 
                And made himself nutless, 
            And now he's quite useless on dates. 


Mary had a little skirt
With slits right up the sides
And everytime she crossed her legs
The boys could see her thighs

Mary had another skirt
With a slit right up the front
She never wore that one...


Oh, pity the Duchess of Kent! 
               Her cunt is so dreadfully bent, 
                    The poor wench doth stammer, 
                    "I need a sledgehammer 
               To pound a man into my vent." 


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