Today's poems [8.23.09]
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There was a young lassie named Phyllis
Was deflowered one night in a Willys.
Before they were through
Her spine was askew,
And I very much fear that it still is.
There once was an apple-cheeked runt
Who was welcomed with joy at the Front.
This God's gift to he-men
Prevented spilled semen,
For his ass was tattooed like a cunt.
Once a pirate named Yates
Danced the jig for all of his mates.
He slipped in his cutlas,
And made himself nutless,
And now he's quite useless on dates.
Mary had a little skirt
With slits right up the sides
And everytime she crossed her legs
The boys could see her thighs
Mary had another skirt
With a slit right up the front
She never wore that one...
Oh, pity the Duchess of Kent!
Her cunt is so dreadfully bent,
The poor wench doth stammer,
"I need a sledgehammer
To pound a man into my vent."
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