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Today's poems [8.16.09]

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Spam Haiku



Pink tender morsel,
Glistening with salty gel.
What the hell is it?

 --------------

Ears, snouts and inards,
A homogeneous mass.
Pass another slice.

 --------------

Old man seeks doctor.
"I eat SPAM daily", says he.
Angioplasty.

 --------------

Highly unnatural,
The tortured shape of this "food":
A small pink coffin.

 - author unknown



1. 




On the plains of north-central Tibet 
               They've thought of the strangest thing yet: 
                    On the ass of a camel 
                    They pour blue enamel, 
               And bugger the beast while it's wet. 

2. 




There once was wee lad called Marvin 
            Who thought his big dick was for carvin' 
                He tried to cut slices 
                Of "Turkey with spices" 
            And left all his dining guests starvin'. 

3. 




There once was a man from Leeds
Who swallowed a package of seeds.
Great tufts of grass
Sprouted out of his ass
and his balls were covered in weeds!

4. 




There was a young lady from Asia
Who shaved her legs with a razor
     One day she went high
     Right up past here thigh
And the gash it left would amaze ya!

5. 



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