Today's jokes [8.30.09]

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At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a 
hairdryer at passing cars.  See if they slow down.

Paddy wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test.

Tester: If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits, and another two rabbits, 
how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Tester: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits, two 
rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Tester: Let's try this another way. If I give you two bottles of beer, 
two bottles of beer, and another two bottles of beer, how many bottles of 
beer have you got?
Paddy: Six.
Tester: Good! Now, if I give you two rabbits, two rabbits, and another 
two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? 
Paddy: Seven!
Tester: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is 
seven?
Paddy : I've already got one rabbit at home!

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,
musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed,
tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the 
subject of marriage counseling came up. 
"Oh, we'll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship,"
the husband explained. "She was a communications major in college and I 
majored in theatre arts." He continued, "She communicates well and I act 
like I'm listening."

Now I understand what marketing is:

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You approach her and 
tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Direct Marketing.

You are at a party with a group of friends and you see a very pretty 
girl. One of your friends approaches her and tells her: "That guy over 
there is very good in bed". That is Advertising.

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You ask for her phone 
number. The following day you call her and tell her: "I am very good in 
bed". That is Telemarketing .

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You recognize her, you 
approach her and refresh her memory by telling her: "Do you remember how 
good I am in bed?" That is Customer Relationship Management. 

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You get up, fix your 
tie, pour her a drink, open the door for her, pick up her bag when it 
falls and you tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Public Relations.

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. She approaches you and 
tells you: "I heard you are very good in bed". That is BRANDING!!

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