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Today's jokes [8.13.09]

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What's the difference between a duck and a cow? 

They both swim, except for the cow.


Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock 
swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, 
Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?" 

She replied, "no sir!" 

So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, "Did you like that?" 

"Oh, indeed I did, sir!" she replied 

The second man went out to her and asked,"Mermaid, have you ever had your 
breasts fondled?" 

"No sir," she replied. So he set to and fondled and caressed and then 
asked, "How did you like that?" 

She replied," It was most pleasurable, sir." 

The third fellow approached and asked," Mermaid, have you ever been 

"No sir," she replied. 

He said, "Well you have been now--the tide's gone out!"


What did the Jewish pedophile ask the little girl? 

- "Hey, little girl, you want to buy some candy?"


What's the difference between a blonde and a light bulb?

Well, the light bulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.


What do Marriage and a Tornado have in common? 

Well you start off with a lot of blowing and then sucking,
and then next thing you know your house is gone!


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