Today's jokes [8.12.09]

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What's the difference between women and men?

One has morning sickness, the other has morning stiffness.

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband 
stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh.  Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked.  "How can you tell?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

What did one gay sperm say to the other? 

I can't find my way through all this shit.

What is white and flies across the sky? 

                 The coming of the Lord.

What do true rednecks do on Halloween? 

- Pump kin.

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