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Today's stories [7.24.09]

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After the worldwide strike of the "I LOVE YOU VIRUS," reports are already 
coming in that the virus is mutating into several stages. Within the next 
few hours, expect to see: 

The original "I love you" virus 
The "I like you alot" virus 
The "You're nice, but I just want to be friends" virus 
The "Look, it was just a date...don't get clingy" virus 
The "Okay, I think its best if we don't have anymore contact" virus 
The "It was late, I was drunk, you were easy" virus 
The "Stop calling me, you unfeeling jerk" virus 
The "That's it, I hate you and your stupid dog" virus 

and finally, 

The "You have made an enemy today, prepare to be boarded" virus


New White House Pet

President Bill Clinton has purchased yet another pet for the White House 
to keep his cat and dog company.  The 18 yr. old horse was delivered to 
the White House yesterday. Mr. Clinton took the afternoon off to ride the 
new arrival which he has  named "Missie".
Mr. Clinton did not allow the press to attend his  first encounter with 
Missie. He said "She needs some time to settle  into her new home, but
she's a beautiful beast and quite a challenge to ride.  Hillary is still
not convinced this is a good idea but she knows how important riding 
horses is to me."


When just about everyone had boarded the plane, the flight 
attendant made a brief announcement. She said,"to the 
gentleman in seat 18F don't worry about your bag, you will get 
it back just as soon as we are done going through it."


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