Today's stories [7.24.09]
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After the worldwide strike of the "I LOVE YOU VIRUS," reports are already
coming in that the virus is mutating into several stages. Within the next
few hours, expect to see:
The original "I love you" virus
The "I like you alot" virus
The "You're nice, but I just want to be friends" virus
The "Look, it was just a date...don't get clingy" virus
The "Okay, I think its best if we don't have anymore contact" virus
The "It was late, I was drunk, you were easy" virus
The "Stop calling me, you unfeeling jerk" virus
The "That's it, I hate you and your stupid dog" virus
The "You have made an enemy today, prepare to be boarded" virus
New White House Pet
President Bill Clinton has purchased yet another pet for the White House
to keep his cat and dog company. The 18 yr. old horse was delivered to
the White House yesterday. Mr. Clinton took the afternoon off to ride the
new arrival which he has named "Missie".
Mr. Clinton did not allow the press to attend his first encounter with
Missie. He said "She needs some time to settle into her new home, but
she's a beautiful beast and quite a challenge to ride. Hillary is still
not convinced this is a good idea but she knows how important riding
horses is to me."
When just about everyone had boarded the plane, the flight
attendant made a brief announcement. She said,"to the
gentleman in seat 18F don't worry about your bag, you will get
it back just as soon as we are done going through it."
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