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Today's poems [7.28.09]

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Clare, Clare I'm so aware,
how you flutter your eyes at me. 
But what about my wife Sue? 
I really dont know what to do.
Should I run or try and screw?

Do you mean it?
You're such a tease.
You have a boyfriend
but I don't like threes.

The other men at my work,
like you too, you're such a perk,
jerking off their trouser snakes,
at your photo, during breaks.


Sent by Dan

1. 




Phil, a young plumber from Rhyl
was first to try out the male pill,
but to Lisa's suprise,
his spunk didn't rise,
and neither received any thrill.

Sent by Dan

2. 




An ingenious young scientist named Joan,
Dosed heavily on testosterone.
Then she diddled her slit 
With her much enlarged clit
And successfully sired her own clone.

Sent by Joan

3. 




A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.  
    
 A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound just like a song. 
    
Some farts do not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger awhile.   
    
 A fart can create
A most-curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, but deadly. 
    
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone
With strange looks on their faces.   
    
From wide-open prairies,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of us 
Sooner or later. 
    
So be not afraid
Of the invisible gas,
For always remember,
That farts, too, shall pass.   
 

Sent by Mario

4. 




I fear that I shall never see
A bathroom wall completely free

Of such obscenities as this
And other words like "shit" and "piss."

But if I such a wall espy,
Then you will know that it was I

Who was in the vicinity:
I'll ravish its virginity.


Sent by --Kilmerius Redivivus

5. 



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