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Today's poems [7.14.09]

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There once was a lady from Hyde,
Who ate a green apple and died,
While her lover lamented,
The apple fermented,
and made cider inside her inside.


               There was a young laundress of Lamas 
               Who invented high amorous dramas 
                    For the spots she espied 
                    Dried and hardened inside 
               The pants of the parson's pajamas. 


A young lady from South Carolina 
               Placed fiddle strings 'cross her vagina. 
                    What, with proper sized cocks, 
                    Once was sex, became Bach's 
               Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor. 


A prudish young damsel named Rose 
               Is particular how men propose. 
                    To "Let's have intercourse," 
                    She says gaily, "Of course," 
               But to "Let's fuck," she turns up her nose, 


Have you heard of young Franchot Tone 
               Who felt of his own peculiar bone? 
                    It was long and quite narrow 
                    And filled full of marrow, 
               And less edible than stale corn pone. 


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