Today's poems [7.14.09]
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There once was a lady from Hyde,
Who ate a green apple and died,
While her lover lamented,
The apple fermented,
and made cider inside her inside.
There was a young laundress of Lamas
Who invented high amorous dramas
For the spots she espied
Dried and hardened inside
The pants of the parson's pajamas.
A young lady from South Carolina
Placed fiddle strings 'cross her vagina.
What, with proper sized cocks,
Once was sex, became Bach's
Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor.
A prudish young damsel named Rose
Is particular how men propose.
To "Let's have intercourse,"
She says gaily, "Of course,"
But to "Let's fuck," she turns up her nose,
Have you heard of young Franchot Tone
Who felt of his own peculiar bone?
It was long and quite narrow
And filled full of marrow,
And less edible than stale corn pone.
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