Jokes2Go @ Lunch [7.4.09]

What do you call a man with his right hand in a sharks mouth?

Lefty. 

I pulled into a town I couldn't believe still
existed in 1999.

A dusty, dirt road, a little old wooden store that
actually said "General Store", and that was it.

There was a little old man sitting in front of the
store in a rocking chair. I said to him, "What do
you folks do around here?"

He said, "We don't do nothin' but hunt n' fuck."

I said, "What do you hunt?"

He said, "Somethin' to fuck."

An agreeable girl named Miss Doves
Likes to jack off the young men she loves.
     She will use her bare fist
     If the fellows insist
But she really prefers to wear gloves.

"I never married because there was no need.
   I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband.
   I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all
   afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night."
   --- Marie Corelli