Today's jokes [7.29.09]

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What is the worst thing that can happen to a bat while it sleeps?

Diarrhoea! 

Just after Lorenna Bobbitt brutally cut off her husband's penis, she 
jumped into her car and sped away. 

On her way down the highway, holding her husbands penis in her hand, she 
decided to throw it out the window. She opened her window and tossed the 
penis as far as she could and sped away again. 

Meanwhile two potheads who were driving down the same highway happened to 
cross right by Lorenna just as she tossed it out the window and the penis 
hit their windshield smack dab in the middle. Stunned but still quiet the 
two locals drove on. About three miles down the road one pothead turned 
to the other and said, "Man, Did you see the size of the dick on the 
Mosquito?"

What did Arafat say to Clinton?

"Sheep don't talk, my friend."

The company sergent is briefing the recruits:

"For the next ten weeks the commanding officer will be your father, and I
will be your mother. Incidentally we are not married, so you know what that
makes you..."

Why did the blonde crash her plane when landing?

Because the runway was only 25ft long, but a mile wide.

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