Today's stories [6.14.09]

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Government as Usual:

The White House freed $250 million to promote a new sex
education program. "It teaches marital fidelity," says Argus
Hamilton. "It sure gets expensive when Bill Clinton and
Dick Morris start theorizing." 

Here's an easy one we did for our boss.  Sign him up for a crossdresser
weekly subscription or some other form of perversion (North America Man 
Boy Love Association).  Address it to his name but under his neighbors 
address.
Do this several times.  Also, if you have his home phone, there's nothing
like placing his name and number in homosexual personal ads...

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for
efficient beating.

Mother's helper--peasant working conditions.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, 
unrivaled inconvenience.

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