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Today's stories [6.13.09]

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The two butchers were brought into the emergency room.
They both had their left hands bandaged.  "What happened?"  I 
asked the first one.  "I was cutting some meat when the cleaver 
slipped and cut my hand."  I asked the other one how he had
been injured.  "Oh, I was showing the other guys what *this*
guy was doing and I did the same thing."

1. 




Rachel's blonde roommate had to make an emergency phone 
call to home and her pre-paid calling card had expired.  "I 
suggested she call collect.  She picked up the phone, looked 
at me bewildered, and asked, 'What's the number to 1-800-
COLLECT?'"

2. 




   A few years ago my wife started to wear tight jeans.
   I went out and bought a convertible.
   
   Then she bleached her hair.
   I took a lot of multiple vitamin shots.
   
   Just a few months ago, she had a face lift and a "tummy tuck."
   I got an implant.
   
   And that's the way its been for the two of us:
   side by side -- growing young together.


3. 



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