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Today's stories [6.10.09]

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Listen about that guy who was pulled over for running a
stop sign.  When the cop checked the man's driver's license,
he said, "You're wearing glasses on your ID and you're not 
now.  I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that."  The guy 
said, "Officer, I have *contacts*."  The cop said, "Look, buddy, 
I don't care *who* you know -- I'm giving you a ticket."


Only in Merry Olde England

A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded bus.

When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling
humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat
and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth
move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.

When the case came before the court, the young man was asked why
he acted in such a manner. His reply was:

When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was
pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read "Coming
Soon The Gold Dust Twins", then she moved under one that read
"Sloans Liniments remove Swelling". I was even more amused when
she sat under a shaving advertisement which read "William Stick
Did The Trick". Then I could not control myself any longer when
on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read
"Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident." 


A massive cold front swept across the nation this week,
but it's not expected to affect the election.
Says Hamilton, "The Weather Channel said the five-day
forecast for Bob Dole is three days." 


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