Today's quotes [6.28.09]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.

"Fuck you kitty, I won't do what you tell me."
                        -- Ruth Hopping

* There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and
       found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his
       sleep and found himself divorced.

"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved,
but I never saw any reason to limit myself." 

Emo Philips.

"I feel schizophrenic; first he says 'open your mouth,' then he says 'keep 
it closed.'" 

     - Monica Lewinski

Captain J. A. Hadfield: 
     "This art of resting the mind and the power of dismissing from it
all care and worry is probably one of the secrets of energy in our great men."

By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Funny Pic   June '09 Quotes Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30