Today's poems [6.5.09]
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A morbid young lady named Jean
Was known as the Masochist Queen.
She used thistles and cacti
In pursuit of her practi,
In a manner both odd and obscene.
A team playing baseball in Dallas
Called the umpire a shit out of malice.
While this worthy had fits
The team made eight hits
And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.
I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall
I'll never see a tree at all.
--Ogden Nash, "Verses from 1929 On"
There was a young fellow named Bowen
Whose pecker kept growin' and growin'.
It grew so tremendous,
So long and so pendulous,
'Twas no good for fuckin'---just showin'.
There was a young lady named Sue
Who preferred a stiff drink to a screw.
But one leads to the other,
And now she's a mother---
Let this be a lesson to you.
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