Today's poems [6.3.09]

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There was a young girl of Claridge's 
            Who said, "What a strange thing marriage is, 
                When you stop to think 
                That I've poured down the sink 
            Five abortions and fifty miscarriages!" 

There was a young lady of Maine
Who declared she'd a man on her brain.
But you knew from the view
Of her waist as it grew
It was not on her brain that he'd lain.

There was a young fellow in Buckingham. 
            Wrote a treatise on cunts and on sucking them, 
                But later this work 
                Was eclipsed by a Turk 
            Whose topic was ass-holes and fucking them. 

There was a young fellow from Florida
Who liked a friend's wife, so he borrowed her.
When they got into bed,
He cried, "God strike me dead,
This ain't a cunt, it's a corridor!" 

There was a young fellow named Bliss
Whose sex life was strangely amiss,
    For even with Venus
    His recalcitrant penis
Would never do better than t
                           h
                           i
                           s
                           .

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