Today's poems [6.16.09]
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The wife of young Richard of Limerick
Complained to her hesband, "My quim, Rick,
Still grows in diameter
Each time that you ram at her;
How can your poor tool stay so slim, Rick?"
Said an old taxidermist in Burrell,
As he skillfully mounted a squirrel,
"This excess of tail is
Obstructive to phallus;
One's much better off with a girl."
To his bride said the lynx-eyed detective:
'Can it be that my eyesight's defective?
Has your east tit the least bit
The best of the west tit?
Or is it a trick of perspective?'
There once was a man named Sweenie,
who spilled some gin on his weenie.
So just to be couth,
he spilled some vermouth.
And then slipped his girl a Martini.
A young baseball fan named Miss Glend
Was the home team's best rooter and friend,
But for her the big league
Never held the intrigue
Of a bat with two ball at the end.
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