Today's poems [6.14.09]

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Q. Flaccus in his third liber: 
               "The Romans have no wood-pulp fiber. 
                    A crapulent quorum 
                    Will squat in the Forum 
               And heave dirty stones in the Tiber." 

A near-sighted chap named Coulter
Led a glamorous gal to the altar.
Quite lovely he thought her
Till some strong soap and hot water
Made her look like the rock of Gibraltar.

There was a nympho named Jill 
Who tried dynamite for a thrill
They found her vagina
All over China
And bits of her tits in Brazil

Sent by Martin

Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says i love you
You belive its true
but when your tummy starts to swell,
he says 'to hell with you'
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
a baby without a name
the baby is a bastard
the mother is a whore
this never wouldn't have happened
if the rubber wouldn't have torn.

Sent by Robert

There was an old maid from Bruton 
               Who had the bad habit of pootin'. 
                    Her sphincter was weak, 
                    Her wind she couldn't keep--- 
               This tootin' old spinster from Bruton. 

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