Today's poems [6.10.09]

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There was a fat turkey named Sam,
Who gobbled whenever he ran.
He came out of the bush,
Presenting his tush,
And was shot up the arse by a man.

A farmer I know named O'Doole
Has a long and incredible tool.
He can use it to plow,
Or to diddle a cow,
Or just as a cue-stick at pool. 

There is a professor named Martin 
                                        From whom I'm about to be partin', 
                                                      And on my way out, 
                                                      He may here me shout, 
                                        "It's your face I'd sure like to fart in." 

There was an old spinster of Tyre
Who bellowed, "MY CUNT IS ON FIRE!"
So a fireman was found,
Brought his engine around
And extinguished her burning desire

                                        So here was this fellow from Strensall, 
                                        Whose pecker was shaped like a pencil, 
                                                      Anemic, 'tis true, 
                                                      But an interesting screw, 
                                        Inasmuch as the tip is prehensile. 

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