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Today's jokes [6.8.09]

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You might be a redneck if you check the mileage on your home.

1. 




Q: What do you call a black smurf?
A: A smigger.


2. 




How do you get a horny dog to stop humping on your leg?

Pick him up and start sucking his dick.

3. 




Question: What's the penalty for bigamy?
Answer: Two mothers-in-law 

4. 




Three girls died and were brought to the gates of
heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted
by St. Peter and his obedient angel.

St. Peter asked the girls, "Before entering you
must answer this simple question." "Which is ...?",
they replied in unison. "Have you been a good girl?",
he asked the first girl.

"Oh yes", she said. "I was a virgin before I got
married and was still virgin even after I got married."
"Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl ...
the golden key."

"Have you been a good girl?", he asked the second girl.

"Oh, quite good", she said. "I was a virgin before I
got married but was not after I got married." "Very good",
said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl ... the silver key."

"Have you been a good girl?", he asked the third girl.
"Oh no, not at all," she said. "I practically had sex with
every guy I met before and after I got married. Anywhere,
anytime."

"Very good," said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl ...
my room key."

5. 



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