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Today's jokes [6.5.09]

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WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous."
WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out.
Where's the car?"
WIFE: "In the pool."


Bumper sticker seen in Cambridge, Mass: "Re-elect President Gore in


St. Peter meets Mother Theresa at the Gates Of Heaven and says, "You were 
a good woman. I'm giving you a nice halo."
Mother Theresa is walking around Heaven when she sees Princess Di, and the 
Princess has a much bigger halo.
Mother Theresa goes back to St. Peter and says, "St. Peter, I spent most 
of my adult life helping the poor and the sickly. Princess Di did no where 
near the amount of charitable work I did. Why does she have a bigger 
St. Peter says, "That's not a halo. That's a steering wheel."


What's the object of a Jewish football game?

To get the quarter back!


   A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost.
   On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel
   tied out back of the enlisted men's barracks. He asked the Sargent
   leading the tour, what the camel was for.
   The Sargent replied, "Well sir, it's a long way from anywhere, and the
   men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, uh, we have the
   The Captain said, "Well, if it's good for morale, then I guess it's
   all right with me."
   After he had been at the fort for about 6 months, the Captain could
   not stand it anymore, so he told his Sargent, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!"
   The Sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the Captain's
   quarters. The Captain got a foot stool and proceeded to have vigorous
   sex with the camel. As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool and
   was buttoning his pants he asked the Sargent, "Is that how the
   enlisted men do it?"
   The Sargent replied, "Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into


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