Today's jokes [6.22.09]
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This is a telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and
roomservice at a hotel in Asia. It was recorded and
published in the Far East Economic Review:
Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees."
Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS : "Rye. Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
Guest: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
RS: "Ow July den - fry, boy, pooch?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled, please."
RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem - crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine"
RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"
RS: "San tos. July San tos?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what
'judo one toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!..Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish
mopping we bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.'
Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"
G: "No..just put the bother on the side."
G: "I mean butter - just put it on the side."
G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache,
crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey
sigh, and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
G : "You're welcome"
Have a good day
Why you should learn to use algebra . . .
After applying some simple algebra to some trite phrases and cliches a new understanding can be
reached of the secret to wealth and success.
Here it goes.
Knowledge is Power
Time is Money and as every engineer knows,
Power is Work over Time.
So, substituting algebraic equations for these time worn bits of wisdom, we get:
K = P (1)
T = M (2)
P = W/T (3)
Now, do a few simple substitutions:
Put W/T in for P in equation (1), which yields:
K = W/T (4)
Put M in for T into equation (4), which yields:
K = W/M (5).
Now we've got something. Expanding back into English, we get:
Knowledge equals Work over Money.
What this MEANS is that:
1. The More You Know, the More Work You Do, and
2. The More You Know, the Less Money You Make.
Solving for Money, we get:
M = W/K (6)
Money equals Work Over Knowledge.
From equation (6) we see that Money approaches infinity as Knowledge approaches 0, regardless
of the Work done.
What THIS MEANS is:
The More you Make, the Less you Know.
Solving for Work, we get
W = M K (7)
Work equals Money times Knowledge
From equation (7) we see that Work approaches 0 as Knowledge approaches 0.
What THIS MEANS is:
The stupid rich do little or no work.
Working out the socioeconomic implications of this breakthrough is left as an exercise for the
A son comes to his dad and says:
- Dad, i gotta tell you something
- Ok, Quick and clear!
- 100 bucks
What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner?
When the power goes off.
It was the age when knighthood was in flower.
A young lady was pounding away at a piece of
iron with a sledgehammer. Another young lady
saw her and asked, "What are you doing?"
The first one answered, "I'm making socks and
sweater for some soldier boy!"
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