Today's jokes [6.21.09]
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Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
New scientific thoeries
1st RunnerUp- If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an
infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of
shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will
eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.
Two doctors found themselves on the beach in Hawaii.
As a real bevy of bikini-clad females walked by, one said,
"Look at the legs among that group."
"Sorry old chap." replied the second doctor. "But I'm a
chest man myself."
A small boy walks into his mothers room and catches her topless.
"Mummy, mummy, what are these?" he says, pointing to her breasts.
"Well, son," she says, "these are balloons, and when you die,
they inflate and float you up to heaven."
Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off
Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes into
"Mummy, mummy, Aunt Mary is dying!"
What do you mean? says his mother.
Well she's in the garden shed, lying on the floor. Both her
balloons are out, Dad's blowing them up, and she keeps yelling
"God, I'm coming! I'm coming!!!"
The three wise men are out for a stroll when they come across a stable.
The three of them decide to duck inside.
On the way in one of the wise men hits his head on the low entranceway.
"Jesus Christ!" he says.
Joseph says, "Quick, Mary, write that down! It's a hell of a lot better
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