Today's jokes [6.19.09]

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Did you hear the latest theory about Monica Lewinsky?

It may never be proven but they think she may be the
youngest woman to have ever held the Presidency. 

How can you tell if an Irishman is present at a cock fight?
He enters a duck.
How can you tell if a Pole is present? 
He bets money on the duck.
How can you tell if an Italian is present?
The duck wins. 

What's a definition of a gynecologist?

Gynecologist is a person who looks for problems in a place where most
people find pleasure

There are three truths in life:

1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah....

2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the
   leader of the Christian faith.....

3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store.

There was three guys, one with a rubber dick, one with a wooden dick,
and one with a nine foot dick.
The guy with the rubber dick couldn't have sex because it wasn't hard.
The guy with the wooden dick couldn't have sex because the other
person would get splinters. 
Finally, the third guy with a nine foot dick says, "See that girl over
there? Bam. Got her." 

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