Today's stories [5.19.09]

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A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's 
final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not 
showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate 
family member's death. 

One smart ass student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", 
and the whole classroom burst into laughter. After the laughter had 
subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, "Not an excuse,
you can just use your other hand to write."

I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a
few items and the lady behind me put her things on
the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those
"Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and
placed it between our things so they wouldn't get
mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items,
she picked up the "Divider" looking it all over for
the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the
bar code she said to me "Do you know how much this
is?" and I said to her "I've changed my mind, I
don't think I'll buy that today". She said "OK"
and I paid her for the things and left. She had
no clue to what had just happened.....

There's the story about the man working the night desk at the FBI office. 
They got a lot of wrong numbers, because it was similar to the pizza 
joint.
One night he answered "FBI." When the caller hesitated, he said "You meant 
to call Dominoes ..." The caller exclaimed "Wow, you guys really DO know 
everything!" 

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