Today's stories [5.10.09]

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Two local men were seriously injured when their pickup truck left the road
and hit a tree near Cotton Plant on State Highway 38 early Monday morning

Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are
listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center.

The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a
cat-gigging trip. (Note to city slickers, cat-gigging, or cat-sticking,
is how, armed with a small pitchfork), you catch cats from the bayou bank.

Cats make a tasty supper.

On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.
The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had
burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the
.22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to
the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet, the headlights again
began to operate and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White
river Bridge.

After traveling approximately 20 miles and just before crossing the river,
the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the right
testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right, exiting the pavement and
striking the tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions, but will
require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis sustained a broken
clavicle and was treated and released.

Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his nuts off or we
might now be dead, 'said Wallis.

"I've been a trooper for I0 years in this part of the world," said Deputy
Snyder, "but this is a first for me. I cant believe that those two would
admit how the accident happened."

Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavina, Poole's wife, asked how many cats
the boys had caught, and did anyone think to get them from the truck.

England: A German "tourist," supposedly on a golf
holiday, shows up at customs with his golf bag.
While making idle chatter about golf, the customs
official realizes that the tourist does not know
what a "handicap" is. The customs official asks the
tourist to demonstrate his swing, which he does --
backward! A substantial amount of narcotics was found
in the golf bag. 

When we were looking to buy property I had this over zealous 
realtor show us what can only be described as a totally worn-
out old farm. I mean the land had just been worked to death. 
The weeds were hardly even growing. 

The smiling super salesman said, "Now really, all this land 
needs is a little water, a nice cool breeze and some good 
people." 

I replied, "Yeah, I agree, but couldn't the same be said of Hell?"

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