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Today's poems [5.7.09]

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There was a Bishop from Trawlee 
            Who went out into the Garden to pee. 
                He said "Pax Vou Biscum" 
                I can't make the piss come 
            It must be the C L A P! 


A lawyer who was a newlywed groom
Took his bride to their honeymoon room
But they talked the whole night
As to who had the right
To do what, with which, and to whom. 


                             Ode to The Bobbits
There once was a Bobbitt named John
Who thaught he was quite the Don Juan
His wife disagreed
So the next time he wee'd
John couldn't locate his wand.

Lorena wished John could be nicer
But he wasn't much of a de-icer
If she finds a new spouse
Let us hope he's no louse
Or we might have our first serial slicer.

A surgeon was filled with great tension
Trying to sew on a thing we can't mention
He stitched and he sewed
Used all the skills that he knowed
But the wee thing won't stand at attention.

John Bobbitt was never a loner
In fact, he was known as a roamer
His wife seized his prize
And cut him to size
Now he is his own organ donor.

There once was a crime most venal
One might say 'twas inches from renal
It wasn't for sport
That she made him so short
Her intentions were nothing but penal.

The Bobbitt case sure is a dilly
Though it sounds a little bit silly
He said she's the hacker
Who lopped off his whacker
She said she was trying to Free Willy.


            There was a young man from Liberia 
            Who was groping a wench from Nigeria. 
                He said, "Yes, my pet, 
                Your panties are wet." 
            "Sorry, sir, that's my interior." 


As the elevator car left our floor,
Big Sue caught her tits in the door;
She yelled a good deal,
But had they been real,
She'd have yelled considerably more.


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