Today's poems [5.27.09]
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My wife is an amorous soul
On fire for an African's pole.
She told a coon chauffeur
That he was her gopher---
And, say, did he go for her hole!
THE CREATION OF A VAGINA
Seven wise men with knowledge so fine
Created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher, smart with wit,
Using a knife, he gave it a slit.
Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
With a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.
Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
By using red velvet, he lined it within.
Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
With a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.
Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
He threw in a fish and gave it a smell.
Sixth was a preacher whose name was McGee,
He touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
Last came a sailor, a dirty little runt,
He sucked it and fucked it and called it a cunt
Oh, pity the Duchess of Kent!
Her cunt is so dreadfully bent,
The poor wench doth stammer,
"I need a sledgehammer
To pound a man into my vent."
There was a young man named Tom
Who ran screaming home to his mom.
The fear of the Bomb
Scared him back in the womb---
The bastard, he wasn't so dumb!
The Beer Prayer
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter, and
Sent by aftab
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