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Today's poems [5.26.09]

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Eyed the girls and had a ball,
Lots of whistles, even a catcall,
Thus... Humpty had a great fall!

Then came the cold winter breeze
and Humpty's arse began to freeze...
though winter's sure to be a dreary thing... 
Let's wish Humpty a bouncy spring!


There was an old sheik named Al Hassid 
Whose tool had become very placid. 
Before each injection 
To get an erection 
He had to immerse it in acid. 


From a niche in the crypt at Saint Giles
Came a sound which resounded for miles.
"My goodness gracious,"
Said Father Ignatius.
"I forgot that the Bishop has piles."


If you're speaking of actions immoral 
               Then how about giving the laurel 
                    To doughty Queen Esther, 
                    No three men could best her--- 
               One fore, one aft, and one oral. 


            A sadistic young cook, Miss McDillet 
            Gets very upset when you fill it. 
                When she's done and hops off, 
                She lops your thing off, 
            And sautÚs it up in a skillet. 


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