Today's poems [5.25.09]

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            A nudist resort at Benares 
            Took a midget in all unawares. 
                But he made members weep 
                For he just couldn't keep 
            His nose out of private affairs. 

There was a young barmaid from Yale, 
               On whose bust was written the prices of ale; 
                    And on her behind 
                    For the sake of the blind 
               Was exactly the same, but in braille. 

   Here I sit
   Broken hearted
   Tried to shit
   But only farted


  

                    Peter, first Duke of Orange
                            
                    Was limited to a miserable four-inch,
                            But technique in a keyhole
                            Developed his P-hole
                            
                    "Til at last it got caught in the door-hinge.
                            

               There once was a man named Mort 
               Whose dick was incredibly short 
                    He climbed into bed 
                    And his lady friend said, 
               "That's not a dick, it's a wart. 

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