Today's poems [5.14.09]

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               There was a young golfer named Lear 
               Who went to jail for a year 
                    For an act quite obscene: 
                    On the very first green 
               Under a sign saying "Enter course here." 

There was a young Georgian named Lynd 
               Who'd never in all his life sinned, 
                    For whenever he'd start 
                    He'd be jarred by a fart, 
               And his semen was gone with the wind. 

            Have you heard of the Widow O'Riley 
            Who esteemed her late husband so highly 
                That in spite of the scandal, 
                Her umbrella handle 
            Was made of his membrum virile. 

To the shrine which was Pallas Athena's 
            Young Bito (who'd learned about penis) 
                Brought her needles and thread 
                And scissors and said, 
            "You can stick them---I'm changing to Venus!" 

There was a young lady of Totten
Whose tastes grew perverted and rotten.
She cared not for steaks,
Or for pastry or cakes,
But lived upon penis *au gratin*.

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