Today's jokes [5.31.09]

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Mr.Richman has 3daughters. Their names are nobody, somebody and crazy.
One day nobody and somebody are fighting over a fake eyebrow. Then crazy
when to the policeman and she said"Nobody and Somebody are fighting" Then
the policeman look at her then he said "What are you
talking about?" Then she said again "Nobody and Somebody are fighting"
Then the policeman said "What? Are you crazy?" Then she said "Yes but how
did you know my name?"

Have you ever smelled moth balls? 

     - How did you get their little legs apart? 

"I'm in love with my horse," the nervous man told his psychiatrist. 
"Nothing to worry about," the psychiatrist consoled. "Many people
are fond of animals.
As a matter of fact, my wife and I have a dog that we are very
attached to."
"But, doctor," continued the troubled patient, "I feel, ummm... 
*physically* attracted to my horse."
"Hmmm," the doctor asked, "Is it male or female?" 
"Female, of course!" the man replied.
"What do you think I am...GAY???" 

Hillary and Chelsea were having a deep dish heart
to heart talk about Chelsea's college experiences. 

Hillary:  So have you found dating to be fullflling
          experience? 

Chelsea:  It's okay..but i don't like how the boys
          sometimes act like real sex hounds. 

Hillary:  Well, uh, have you, uh, actually had sex? 

Chelsea:  Well Mom, no, not IF you define sex the
          way Daddy does. 

When is it OK for a lady to slap a midget? 

When they are slow dancing and he tells her how nice her hair smells. 

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