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Today's jokes [5.22.09]

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What did the egg say to the boiling water?


"I just got laid and now you want me to get hard?!"

Sent by Sarah

1. 




If I have a rooster and you have a donkey and your donkey bites
off my roosters feet, what do you have? 

    Two feet of my cock in your ass. 

2. 




Two gay men were in bed fooling around when all of a
sudden the door bell rings. The first gay man tells
the second, "Don't cum until I come back", and he
rushes off to answer the door.
After a few minutes, he eagerly returns to the bedroom
only to find cum was all over the bed and sheets. He
says to the second gay man, "I thought you wasn't going
to cum until I came back. The second gay man says to the
first, "I didn't cum, ........I farted!

Sent by Ken "C"

3. 




How do you sink a Polish submarine?

     You knock on the door. 

4. 




    Computer Ease!

   The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration
   for the planned Windows 2000:
   1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
   2. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
   3. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
   4. Press any key except ... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
   5. Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.
   6. Close your eyes and press escape three times.
   7. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
   8. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another
   game?
   9. Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
   10. This is a message from God Gates: "Rebooting the world. Please log
   off."
   11. To "shut down" your system, type "WIN."
   12. BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
   13. COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.
   14. CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Reboot Washington D. C? (Y/N)
   15. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
   16. Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
   17. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
   18. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
   19. WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
   20. User Error: Replace user.
   21. Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"
   22. Welcome to Microsoft's World - Your Mortgage is Past Due...
   23. If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you and
   all your future creations. Doesn't it feel nice to have security?
   24. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles
   have been deleted. The police are on the way.


5. 



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