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Today's jokes [5.17.09]

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How does every ethnic joke start?

By looking over your shoulder.


   The three dwarves were in rome and went to the nearest nunnery. They
   got to talk to the
   mother superior.
   "Excuse us, but can you tell us where the dwarf nuns are?"
   "Sorry", she replies, "but there are no dwarf nuns here".
   "Well, are there any in the city?".
   "No, there are no dwarf nuns".
   "What, none anywhere in Europe?"
   "No, little man". "None in the entire world". "Take my word for it".
   At this 6 of the seven dwarves burst out laughing.
   The Mother Superior asks "What's so funny?". "Dopey just fucked a


One day, a fellow went for a ride through the park on his bicycle.
The following day, a friend asked him if he would like to do it again.
He replied, "No thanks, I'm not into recycling."


I heard on the news last night that Bill Gates and his wife are expecting 
a baby in June.

I'm betting the baby will be late.


Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he 
came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date 
stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. 
They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might 
have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago.

"Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?" Arnold asked.

"Not very likely," his wife said.

"It's worth a try," Arnold said, pocketing the ticket. He went 
downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the store.

With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind 
the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said, "Just a 
minute. I'll have to look for these." He disappeared into a dark 
corner at the back of the shop.

Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!"

"No kidding?" Arnold called back. "That's terrific! Who would 
have thought they'd still be here after all this time."

The man came back to the counter, empty-handed. "They'll be 
ready Thursday," he said calmly.


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