Today's jokes [5.1.09]

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   A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years
   before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked
   about 10 feet behind their husbands.
   
   She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked
   several yards behind their wives.
   
   She approached one of the women for an explanation. "This is
   marvelous," said the journalist. "What enabled women here to achieve
   this reversal of roles?"
   
   Replied the Kuwaiti woman: "Land mines"
   

A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife
one Friday evening and read's: Dear Wife (that's what
he called her) I am 54 and by the time you receive this
letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful
and sexy 18 year old secretary. When he arrived at the
hotel there was a letter waiting for him as follows:
Dear Husband (that's what she called him) I too am 54
and by the time you receive this letter I will be at
the Hilton Hotel with my handsome and virile 18 year
old toy boy. You being an accountant will therefore 
appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many many more times
than 54 goes into 18!!!! 

A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office.  Was it
true, the woman wanted to know, that the medication the
doctor  had prescribed was for the rest of her life?
She was told that it was.
There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, 
"I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is.  This 
prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'"

Did you hear about the Jewish doctor who gave a patient six months to live?
When the patient couldn't pay, the doctor gave him another six months. 

 buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation.
They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are
mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?
The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great
doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband
and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of
tomorrow."
The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say......LOOK, HE'S
MOVING!!!!!"

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